”A lie is a lie…however if pondered on long enough, the pain of it becomes so deep we start to believe it as truth, a false truth, that’s how we can live with it, and then it becomes a fallacious purpose, a dark place that eventually consumes us, day-by-day without conscience or remorse.” – Greg Charanduk
The creative mind is incredible. It helps us imagine different possibilities, different realities. Just by closing our eyes we can transport ourselves into pure paradise or the middle of a warzone in an instant. We use our imagination to problem solve, to “think outside the box”. Every human invention is a result of creativity. Look around at all the incredible things humanity has achieved, absolutely implausible to any other species on earth, all because of our unique ability to conceive of realities alternate to our own and then finding a way to make them reality. But like any powerful tool, used incorrectly, our creative mind can also be extremely dangerous. In today’s blog, I want to talk about our minds’ ability to take a lie, a baseless, unfounded falsehood, and convert it into a reality that will shape our decisions and our lives. Through my work at Realized Purpose, I’ve met many business owners and entrepreneurs, and I can tell you that these guys are particularly blessed with creativity and ingenuity. But it’s a poisoned chalice. If you’re creative, you’re also more likely to have an overactive imagination. You tend to imagine things that are not true, dark things, ultimatums. Our minds think through every possible scenario and gravitate to worst-case-scenarios. In some ways it’s useful, we preempt difficult situations and then put processes in place for damage control, but the rest of the time, it causes us stress, the un-truths play on our mind, and the more time and mental energy we spend focussing on them, the more dangerous they become. Firstly, they distract us from our real purpose, we think we’re incapable of achieving what we were put on this earth to do. Left to fester, in the extreme, they can make us question our very worth, our existence. How a Lie is Born

1. In Childhood

Often these lies begin as statements told to us when we were younger: “you’re a laughing stock”, “you’re too lazy”, “nobody likes you.” Since we are too young to stand up for ourselves or question what we are told, we accept them as reality. As we enter adulthood and the world of business these lies branch off and become more specific. “You’re a laughing stock” becomes “no one will take you or your company seriously”; “you’re too lazy” becomes “you don’t have the drive to make your business a success”; “nobody likes you” becomes “all my relationships will eventually fail once they find out who I really am.” All these manifestations stem from a false and damaging statement told to you in your formative years.

2. Through dysfunctional relationships

Surround yourself with positive people who want you to succeed and thrive. That doesn’t mean surrounding yourself with yes-men, but learn to distinguish helpful criticism from negativity. Sometimes even well-meaning people can be quite negative when it comes to taking risks. They don’t understand that starting your own business takes bravery, but that the pay-offs are more than worth it. Running your own business, people will be more than ready to give their “advice” and “criticism”, but take it with a pinch of salt. If everyone listened to their naysayers, nothing would ever get done. Seek advice from a business coach or mentor, who can give you professional feedback. At Realized Purpose, we genuinely want the best for our clients both professionally and personally.  

3. By Comparing Ourselves to Others

We also make up lies in adulthood when we compare ourselves to success stories, forgetting that they also had their problems. You watch your old schoolmates or colleagues succeeding and imagine that they have never had to struggle as you have, or you imagine they possess all the best personal qualities and no flaws. The truth is that most of those we celebrate as successful business people and entrepreneurs have had to overcome their own obstacles and have experienced rejection and even failure multiple times. Instead of rationalizing this, we invent reasons for our shortcomings which are specific to us. Recognize that you are just as capable of success and realizing your true purpose as anyone else. 

4. By Reasoning that 1+1=3

When things aren’t going the way we had imagined, our brains need to make sense of it. If you own your own business it’s hard not to take the problems personally. Instead of objectively, and logically assessing the situation and finding a solution, we assume the dip in business reveals something inherent about ourselves.

How a Lie Becomes Reality The longer you live with these ideas about yourself, the more you repeat them, the more you accept them as reality. You might have heard of the “self-fulfilling prophecy”. In Socio-Psychology, the self-fulfilling prophecy is the idea that if you believe something about yourself, you reflect it through your words and actions. The next time you walk into a networking event if you tell yourself “I’m not good at meeting new people” that will be reflected in your body language and in your words. You will make it reality. By assuming that our behavior is a result of some inherent personality trait we feel powerless to change. As soon as we recognize that all these negative things we tell ourselves are just lies, we liberate ourselves to become who we really are, to realize our true potential and purpose in life. Isn’t that incredible? I can’t tell you what a kick it is to watch my clients discover their purpose and reignite their passion for life. They transform from the inside, out. You can actually see a real change in how they talk, how they hold themselves, it’s palpable. I want you, I want everyone to experience that change.  Why Do We Hold onto Lies? The short answer is: because it’s easy. It’s easier to make excuses instead of making changes. I know that even after reading this article there will be some people who will continue as they were before, because it may be painful, but at least it’s familiar. Confronting your past and your worst feelings about yourself takes courage, you need to be brave. You have to first make yourself vulnerable in order to heal. I know first hand how difficult that is, especially when you are at your lowest ebb. But I also know first hand how liberating it is when you come out the other side and can finally start building a life worthy of yourself and your family. The Truth is Bright. The truth is THE truth, there is only one. A lie is an invention, you can make up as many as you like, and we do all the time. We can’t help it. Our minds run away with themselves, and unless we consciously check in with reality, we can fixate on problems and issues about ourselves and our businesses that don’t even exist and make ourselves miserable in the process. Don’t let the lies mask themselves as reality. Don’t let them settle in. Through my work at Realized Purpose we work together to discover your reality, we take off the masks to uncover the real you. Forget other people’s expectations, forget what you’ve been told about yourself, forget the excuses. You deserve to know who you really are and live the life you were meant to live. Every single person deserves that, and it’s my mission to help as many people get there as possible. You are ready to let go of the lies, and I’m ready to help you get there. Fill in our ‘request a call’ form. I’ll get back to you with a 20-30 minute phone call where we briefly talk through your issues and assess if we’re a good fit to work with each other. By doing this, you are bringing yourself a huge step closer to realizing your true purpose in life. I can’t wait to help you get there.
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